Two Brothers Become Themselves

“Then he breathed his last and died and was gathered to his people, old and full of years. And his sons Esau and Jacob buried him.” Genesis 35:29

Essau and Jacob were as different as two twins can be, competitors in life they became collaborators at the death of their father. This is true of so many families and it need not be so. Psalm 139 says these words about the beginning of life. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” What is true at conception is true at every stage of life. God is still creating us to be fearfully and wonderfully made.

Each of these men struggled to find their way, to find themselves, and when they finally did they found each other at their father’s grave. The Lord was not silent to them. He speaks loudly to us through his word. He even dedicated a book to young men in order to tell them how to live. Proverbs 1 reads “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.” The instructions of fathers and the teaching of mothers are sometimes mixed with error. When we consider Essau and Jacob much of what characterized their lives is read in this passage. “The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was content to stay at home among the tents. Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.” What this scripture encapsulates is that the good intention of parents often fails in the execution. Each parent nurtured the gift of the favored son, both to a fault, but in the end God took out the dross that Isaac and Rebekah added to their son’s personalities.

Essau would grow to be a man that could gather four hundred men to his command. His skillful hunting and rugged personality made him a man’s man, a leader, a man of influence and a man who was secure enough to refuse gifts that other men dream about for their entire life. Jacob was content to stay by the tents. He learned pastoral care from his mother. Her eye for an opportunity would be tempered by the heat of summer days and the cold winter nights tending sheep. He would still see opportunity but he also learned to bear loss without complaint as he told his Uncle Laban.

If you are on your journey to becoming yourself, why don’t you take time to contact a sibling, or some other close friend or relative, you may not understand or even appreciate who they are? In time you will and it just may be at the grave site of someone you love. Why not do it now while the living are among you.